STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Mark E. Petersen Council of the 12 Apostles
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide
that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem
will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish,
more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION.
If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have
the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations
which may come to you. After you have made this decision, then observe the
following specific guidelines: A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate
parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as
much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
3. If you are associated
with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP.
Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose
that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from
people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost
in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where
it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do
not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or
six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT
OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family
present.
5. When in bed, if that
is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night
so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it
would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By
the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently
controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems
overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN
AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even
if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose
behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are
the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic
material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember --
"First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed.
You must not allow this problem to remain in your mid. When you accomplish
that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts
into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures
-- Sermons of the Brethren [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading
at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels
in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew,
Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because
of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you
pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your
mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures,
pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families,
BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN
CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!
The attitude of a person
toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how easy it is to overcome. It is
essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person
understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions
or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power
to control it.
We are taught that our
bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may
dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit
and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not physically harmful unless
practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and
secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power
given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person
from God and defeats the gospel plan.
This self-gratifying activity
will cause one to lose his self-respect testimony becomes weak, and missionary
work and other Church callings become burdensome, offerings.
To help in planning an
effective program to overcome the problem a brieation is given of how the
reproductive organs in a young man function.
The testes in your body
are continually producing hundreds of millions of reproductive cells call
_spermatozoa_. These are moved up a tube called the _vas deferens_ to a place
called the _ampulla_ where they are mixed with fluids from two membranous
pouches called _seminal vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_. The resultant
fluid is calleeminal vesicles are full of a signa to the _central nervous
system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such things exercise,
state of health, etc. several times a week, for others It is normal for the
vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night durise the emptying come from
the central nervous system. Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same
time, and is a part of this normal process. instead ourse, the reproductive
system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to keep up with the loss
of semen. When he stops the habit, the body will continue to produce ahis
increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and are to be endured until
the normal central nervous system pathway of rel During this period of control
several things can be done to make the pr As one meets with his Priesthood
Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some
of t Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on,
so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated. Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for
the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation.
Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of
vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression
and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical
activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation
to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those thoughts as loudly as you can
in your mind and then recite a pre-chosen Scripture or sing an inspirational
hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to
indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence,
begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing
it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open
to temptation.
5. Change in behavior
and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time
every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting
situations.
6. Begin to work daily
on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service,
to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to
enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly.
Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to
them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as _How
to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations
that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged.
These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape.
Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such
as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar
for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If
you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to
have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self
control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black
day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will
indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions.
Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were.
Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through
counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy
there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate
or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable,
but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel
out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful
with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example,
if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms,
and eat several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting
and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open,
to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately
in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is.
Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder
empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount
of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that
are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations,
pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful
to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon,
firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases
it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that
the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can
also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be
difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system
for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle
each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights
you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.